For the past 3 months I have lived and breathed the Reebok CrossFit Open and now the Regionals Masters Qualifier.
Last night as I was making my final attempt at WOD 1 of the regionals qualifier...I had Jim stop the clock and I walked away after 2 minutes into the WOD I had only landed 3 muscle ups. I knew there was no way I was going to beat my score of 17 so I called it quits.
I walked out of the gym and down the street. In the middle of the street I started feeling sorry for myself and questioning my reasons for even doing all of this. In the middle of my questioning I tried to make several phone calls 5 to be exact to find someone that would remind me of the reasons.
No one answered. (Hm, do you think God has a plan here?)
At that moment, I had to dig deep. Really deep. And decide for myself, why?
My mind was instantly flooded with reasons why...3 of those reasons were my first 3 phone calls. Brandon, Brianna and Brooke - they were reasons. Gage was watching my every move at this moment. He was a reason. I had 20 other reasons standing in the gym cheering for me. My husband who has given his time day in and day out - he was a reason.
But the real reason, the big reason, the one that was the hardest to believe - is that I deserved it.
Me. Carole Ann Turnbo, I deserved to go in that gym and give 5 minutes of my best effort because I believed that I had the potential to be a games competitor. Today, I had to do this for myself. So, I told my little feeling sorry for yourself baby face to get my ass back in the gym and give what I had left to give for 5 minutes. It was now or never...but we aren't quitters. Turnbo's give it all to the very end.
No regrets. EVER!
5 minutes and 4 muscle ups later, my games were over. I knew it when I stepped off the box. That my scores wouldn't get me to that elite 20 that go on to the next level. But, it didn't matter at that time. What mattered is that for each and every workout I did my very best. The best I had in me for each day of each workout. I had nothing more to give.
I am proud of myself. That doesn't lessen the sting of not making it. Please know that I cried my eyes out while Jim and Brooke were holding me. But I can hold my head high with the dignity of knowing I gave it my all.
Today as I sit here the leaderboard is telling me I'm in 33rd place IN THE WORLD!! Seriously, someone pinch me. How can a person not be proud of something like that!
Now, back to reality starts today with the cleaning of this poor house. I haven't CLEANED for almost 2 months...now, most of you know what I mean here. I have picked up...but CLEANED is a different story. I am sucking up dust bunnies and scrubbing toilets and getting back on track. My home, my business and most importantly my family are ready to have me back taking care of them. It was a nice hiatus having them care for me for awhile, but I like my original deal of being the mom. The leader of the pack.
I'll end today with saying, as I started to clean I walked into my bathroom where 3 months ago on the first day of the open my daughter Brookie lined my mirrors with inspirational quotes..."Musclemama", "Double under Queen", "You're the only one in the Open that has a guardian angel who's still got it!", "Good luck in the Open mommy." and as I started to dust my dresser I came across a note from Gage: "The most buitiful girl ever and that your the most perfect girl in the galexy. Love GT ps you butiful" and as I started to move piles of papers I came across cards from all of my athletes and friends and then I saw the book that Jim wrote when I finished the Open... and that's when I knew, in my book, I was THE WINNER!
Proverbs 31:25-29 NIV
[25] She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. [26] She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. [27] She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. [28] Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: [29] “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
