I'm starting to think like my mother!!!

Jillian had tons of homework to do so we won't be posting about her until Monday mornings from now on.  But that's ok because I have a little something to say about my first week back at CrossFit .  I hate to say this but I think I am starting to think like MY MOTHER!!  And, I'm hoping if I confess this to the world someone will slap me really hard.

Do you remember being little and your dad was willing to let you try anything just to see if you could do it.  And then you had your mom in the background saying "you better not do that, someone's gonna get hurt!" Of course, you did it anyway and most of the time everything was fine.  If you did get hurt you ran to mom and she kissed it better or put a band-aid on it and you went about your merry way.

Well, last Monday officially my first day back at CFM after 3 weeks off totally and an entire summer blended with injury and modifications.  So, here I was released to GO FOR IT!!  I was so excited that I didn't sleep at all on Sunday night...my head was filled with dreams of working out and finally being back to normal.  I did everything on Monday with no modifications to the exercises except for the amount of weight I was lifting.  So, if it said run, I ran.  If it said jump, I jumped. 

BUT, (I hate that word) BUT, there was a slight difference in Carole Ann Turnbo on that day.  I had absolutely NO confidence.  I was my mom's voice in my head saying to myself "you better not do that, you're gonna get hurt!" 

UGH!!  I was screaming inside my head.  It was like the Angel and the Devil you see in those cartoons.  Angel "Carole, jump on the box!" Devil, "You're gonna get hurt!" Angel "Just do it!" Devil "You'll pay for this later!" Angel "Carole, Jump now!"  Carole...."shut up Devil, I've got this!" 

This would essentially happen EVERY DANG time I tried to jump on a mere 20" box.  Over and over again...every little pang I felt I would envision being laid up for months and had to talk myself into moving forward.

The mind is such a mighty little thing.  You ever watch someone trying to get their first box jump?  The toughest part of the entire process is letting your mind decide that you can do it.  Once you have cleared those doubts and suspicions that are lurking behind your eyes...your freaking invincible.

I once was invincible...and I want that back.  I want the confidence back that I once held that kept my chest tall and proud.  I know it's just a matter of mind over matter....and I know with every box jump, every lunge, every different exercise that provokes the Devil to speak to me and for me to push him back and do it anyway I will soon be the once confident CrossFitter I was.

Pride is such a crazy thing.  I want my daddy to be proud, I want him to know that even though I might get hurt (and this could go in many directions, mentally - emotionally - spiritually - and physically) that I am willing to take that step.  I am willing to push through the mental barriers that hold many of us back to be BETTER.  

Better at what you say.....Everything!