Time Changes Everything

So your probably thinking "How many times can they show these pictures to show the drastic changes in Carole's physical appearance?" There is something in these pictures that you can't see by just looking at them, there is something so much deeper than what shows on the outside. In the first pose you see me in a bikini - but do you know what I think about myself. At first glance you see a happy smiling person. Which, I always was but what people didn't know is what I thought of myself. I had absolutely no self confidence. As a matter of fact I was looking through my file at the gym...we will call it the "archives" and in July of 2007 when I started with Jim I was asked this question. "What do you give yourself on a scale of 1-10 for your physical body appearance?" I gave myself a 3. Can you believe that? Some people look at that picture now and say "I would be happy with Carole's before!" But, apparently something was missing for me.

In the second picture I am once again wearing a bikini and a smile. I am starting to get more confident. Just the other day I was looking through my old workout journal to find a workout for the gym. I was flipping pages and reading some of the logs that I had written "back in the day!" Well, this really got me thinking about how CrossFit has changed my life. My journal starts in May of 2008 almost 10 months into my CrossFit journey.

Journal Entry: Date 5-2-08

"Jim told me @ 9:30 Thursday night that we were going to start working out today. That threw me into a nervous jitter and I was up most of the night. The last time I woke up @ 4:15 am I decided that was it and I got out of bed. I was scared to death."

5-7-08

"Had my first recognition from the magazine today. I was a little embarassed but it really made me feel good. Of course as soon as I pulled away I commented about giving my autograph. No balls when she was right there."

5-13-08

"Found a little courage today to talk about what I love - talked to "Vance" at the fire station about running boot camp in his back yard...."

5-14-08

"Met w/ Lou Ann today about PT, I know how to talk to people now - feeling more comfortable...."

5-27-08

"Went to the "campsite" with Jim today. Laid out the 1/4 mile. Went over 1st day stuff. It's funny cause as he was telling me I had this flood of emotion I so vividly remember that first day (of my bootcamp) and so many to follow - sometimes I want him to pinch me and wake me up from this dream. I sometimes can't believe what we accomplished in these 10 months. There are parts of me that want to creep back in every once in awhile but I'm learning how to put them off. I look where I am today. So much stronger mentally - yet so far to go. Time!"

5-28-08

"Met new friends @ the mall today from "Fitness USA - offered me a job- somehow I grew balls and pretty much blew them off - while making sure they knew who I worked for. Success speaks for itself- that was a lesson learned today. Jim- you have created a MONSTER!"

The entry's go on and on I could type for days...it's crazy now to look back at the growth of my confidence. I didn't even really know it was happening......

Now, in the third picture, I am once again in a bikini and wearing a smile. What, you can't see in the picture is that I am unstoppable. Not in the sense of some bad ass chick that thinks she's all that because I don't. But in the sense that my mind has caught up with the rest of me. I know that nothing absolutely nothing can stand in my way. Will there be bridges to cross and long roads to walk down, hell yes but I now KNOW that no matter what comes my way I can accomplish it with a smile on my face. So, as you can see I have not only changed physically I have changed mentally and emotionally as well. I have confidence in myself that let's me believe that NOTHING is impossible. Did all of that come from CrossFit? It came from inner belief. Maybe I needed CrossFit to show me how to believe in myself but nonetheless it's here!